When my Florida doctor asked me about what I did yesterday, I told him about my day:
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from an alligator in the heavy brush, marched up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake"
Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoors man!"
"No," I replied, "I'm just a shitty golfer."